Inde Exibit Gloria Mea? È vero. (part 3/4)

(continued.... from 2/4)

The Missionary Intent of Don Bosco in the light of the text

The text itself can be analyzed even just by face value. The very language ie. The vocabulary of the text can distinguish two intentions of being missionary in Don Bosco's mind. The first being the restoration of the faith of the people and second the development of peoples. In modern terms this could easily pass for two arms of evangelization: The direct evangelization and the indirect evangelization. And by Direct evangelization it means the forthright proclamation of the Gospel and its values. The Indirect evangelization would mean the promotion of human and social development answer the plight of the human need.

Are these the intentions of Don Bosco? Does the choice of words, as Don Bosco scribbled on the train express these two roles of a missionary?

Here Below is the text re-arranged based on the degree of 'religiosity' of the vocabulary used by Don Bosco when he wrote them in 1875. 

 

1: Seek souls, but not money, honours, or rank. 10: Love, revere, respect the other religious Orders, and always speak well of them. This is a way to gain the esteem of all, and to promote the good of the (Salesian) Congregation. 12: Let the world know that you are poor in clothing, food, dwelling, and you will be rich in the sight of God and you will win people's hearts. 13: Love one another, counsel one another, correct one another, but do not give in to either envy, or resentment; on the contrary, let the good of one be the good of all; the pain and suffering of one be considered the pain and suffering of all, and let each one try to eliminate, or at least ameliorate them. 14: Keep your Rules, and never forget the monthly Exercise for a Happy Death. 15: Every morning recommend to God the work of the day, in particular Confessions, classes, religious instruction, preaching. 16: Constantly recommend devotion to Mary Help of Christians, and to Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament. 17: To the young people recommend frequent Confession and Communion. 18: To cultivate vocations to the priesthood and religious life instill 1) love of chastity; 2) horror of the contrary vice; 3) the avoidance of indisciplined companions; 4) frequent Communion; 5) charity, by means of special signs of kindness and goodwill. 20: Amidst toil and suffering never forget that a great reward awaits us in Heaven.

2: Use charity and the greatest courtesy with all, but avoid conversations and familiarity with persons of the opposite sex, or persons of questionable life-style. 3: Do not go visiting, except for motives of charity or out of necessity. 4: Never accept invitations to dinner except for the most serious reasons. In these cases arrange for two of you to go. 5: Take special care of the sick, of the children, of the aged, and of the poor, and you will win for yourselves the blessings of God and the good will of people. 6: Pay due respect to all civil, religious, municipal and government authorities. 7: When meeting a person in authority in the street, be sure to greet him respectfully. 8: Do the same for ecclesiastics and religious. 9: Stay away from idleness and disputes. Great sobriety in food, drink and rest. 11: Take care of your health. Work, but only to the extent your strength allows. 19: In disputed matters, listen to both sides before coming to a decision.

Amen.

The first advice was regarding the main objective of saving souls. And the last advice is the reward of Paradise. Immediately after Don Bosco scribbles the first advice he rattles on with the second till the eleventh which all can be taken as very practical advice for human strategies for social effectiveness and longevity. And then Don Bosco shifts immediately with a barrage of spiritual advices which he dropped off earlier after scribbling the first advice on seeking souls. From the tenth till the twentieth with the exception of the nineteenth are all highly spiritual advices that one cannot but notice when seeing its vocabularies. From the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks but in this case, the hand writes what the heart would want to say. In short by the very vocabulary of the text, Don Bosco can be understood to be expressing apparently two general themes taken at face value.

The first theme would be the mystical advices. Replete with the vocabulary and sentiments to cultivate a deeper experience and sense of God characterizes mystical language. The left column justifies the said theme on mystics. These ten advices on the left column: §1, §10, §12, §13, §14, §15, §16, §17, §18, §20 having more explicitly spiritual language, would easily be shoved aside with indifference by a non-religious social worker. Instead the other ten advices on the right column §2, §3, §4, §5, §6, §7, §8, §9, §11, §19 would be considered power-words or social wisdom sayings by the same non-religious social worker because the language and the content are very 'sociologically' acceptable ie. Advices for purely social human development as Non-Governmental Organizations would champion in this time and age. If the left column can be titled as a mystical themed portion, the right column could easily pass for a social-worker theme title.

Mindful that Don Bosco did not in any way write a draft and so give him ample time to re-arrange the development of the text. He scribbled the text on the train and when finished, he handed it to be recopied that he may hand it to his departing sons. Could he have rearranged it first? Yes he could. But did he even see the need to rearrange the points to give clarity to what he wanted to express? The text shows that Don Bosco was shifting randomly from a highly spiritual advices to a practical social service to-do-list of advice. Knowing his sons, Don Bosco knew obviously that all ten were religious, to mean all having religious vows and only some receiving the ministry of priesthood. Don Bosco did not distinguish what advice was only meant for the priest and what went only for the Lay Salesian or cleric. Don Bosco meant his memento for all his sons ie. plain and simple equally meant: to my religious sons.

By dint of randomly writing and in turn showing a random interplay of spiritual advice and human advice, Don Bosco viewed the spiritual and the human aspects of mission to be emanating from one and the same heart of a missionary. For Don Bosco there was no dichotomy of spiritual moments and human ones. There was no distinction between the SPIRITUAL personality and the HUMANE¹ personality. There was no split or dual personality to speak of.

Referring to the previous assertion that Don Bosco seemed to convey two themes: that of the Mystics theme and the Social-Worker theme. If we were to be consistent, there ought not to be two but in fact only one theme of advices. A spiritual theme... a mystical theme.

In the previous pages with regards the context of the Author, it should be remembered that for Don Bosco, social development in the context of his ecclesiology and pastoral approach meant constructing civility out of any society. And as previously defined, for Don Bosco civility is not social upliftment for it's sake. For Don Bosco in stark contrast to barbarian and savage life-styles that are detrimental to the human being and human society, civilization was a society replete with Christian (to mean Catholic for Don Bosco) religion so as to imbue the citizenry with Christ through education, work and the sacraments and make life moral and thus assure human progress. For Don Bosco social-work had the soul's benefit in view. For Don Bosco social-progress had the Glory of God in view. For Don Bosco, the memento had only a mystical point of view... that his sons would take to heart these advices to help them experience God.

The Memento's usefulness

Will this Missionary Memento of Don Bosco have a more distinguished place in the preparation and sustenance of Missionaries ad gentes? The answer lies in the hands of those who will receive this memento themselves. One thing is for sure, that when these mementos are not taken to heart, a missionary does not simply stagnate, he simply implodes.

It is very interesting that Molineri's relationship with Father Tomatis would actually serve as the trigger finger to understand what value has the advices, formation, mementos of Don Bosco to his missionary sons then and now. Is it possible for a Missionary to be a tireless worker in the vineyard of the Lord and yet praying little? How is it possible that each one can actually go on their own work marvelously like a good social-worker would and yet find the mission life a heavy burden when living as a religious is not that as marvelous while living in the midst of one or two who stopped living as little-mystics.

Father Fagnano writes to Don Bosco that the relationship between Father Tomatis and Brother Molinari has were more strained, and they did not get along. Fagnano continues that generally Brother Molinari is in good health. And yet, he expresses that Molinari has little affection for prayer and meditation. And at one time Molinari even insulted Father Tomatis and Father Cassini. Fagnano recounts that Molinari says 'he can not tolerate the abrupt whims of change' of Father Tomatis. Fagnano explicitly describes both the exterior and interior bearing of Molinari as vain in dress and appearance and somewhat neglectful in following of the Rules of the Salesian Society. Despite the negative report that preceded, Fagnano himself say 'however, I trust him to change, because by a gentle but firm word, he obeys.²

Just to illustrate more emphatically what the memento of Don Bosco could have and should have been to the missionaries, it would be unique to portray the attitudes of Molinari in the light of the religious and 'mystical' advices of Don Bosco. Worthy and important to note is that, when subjecting an evaluation on the figure of Molinari below, the assessment is done on the attitude of a missionary and not the very person of Molinari. The assessment of A missionary with an attitude similar to Molinari:

1: Seek souls, not money honours, or rank. An attitude like Molinari gets an “D minus grade” when he asks that respect which Tomatis probably did not give; 10: Love, revere, respect the other religious Orders, and always speak well of them. This is a way to gain the esteem of all, and to promote the good of the (Salesian) Congregation. An attitude like Molinari gets an “F grade” when he can show respect to others but not to his own congregation; 12: Let the world know that you are poor in clothing, food, dwelling, and you will be rich in the sight of God and you will win people's hearts. An attitude like Molinari gets an “F grade” when he definitely has become more vain; 13: Love one another, counsel one another, correct one another, but do not give in to either envy, or resentment; on the contrary, let the good of one be the good of all; the pain and suffering of one be considered the pain and suffering of all, and let each one try to eliminate, or at least ameliorate them. An attitude like Molinari gets an “D grade” obviously since Tomatis or even Cassini may have provoked him; 14: Keep your Rules, and never forget the monthly Exercise for a Happy Death. Molinari gets an “F grade” because he was not faithful already to the Rule; 15: Every morning recommend to God the work of the day, in particular Confessions, classes, religious instruction, preaching. An attitude like Molinari gets an “D grade” because he hardly prays nor goes for meditation in community and yet should be given the benefit of the doubt that he still does in the privacy of his room; 16: Constantly recommend devotion to Mary Help of Christians, and to Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament. An attitude like Molinari gets an “D minus grade” continuing the reasons just stated previously it would be hard to believe that one could be zealous if one was not devout; 17: To the young people recommend frequent Confession and Communion. An attitude like Molinari gets an “D minus grade” with the same reason as stated previously; 18: To cultivate vocations to the priesthood and religious life instill 1) love of chastity; 2) horror of the contrary vice; 3) the avoidance of indisciplined companions; 4) frequent Communion; 5) charity, by means of special signs of kindness and goodwill. An attitude like Molinari gets an “F grade” because strife would not be a living witness to attract others to live such life of conflict; 20: Amidst toil and suffering never forget that a great reward awaits us in Heaven. An attitude like Molinari gets a “D minus grade” despite the faults, heaven waits. A big doubt lingers if it were a reward fully deserved.

Could a missionary with an attitude like Molinari as described by Tomatis and Fagnano be assisted? Surely. First things first. Was the missionary memento of Don Bosco received as a mystical memento or a social-workers to-do-list? Because if a missionary took to heart this memento written by a man of God like Don Bosco, he and many other missionaries would easily be better religious and in all possibility, be little mystics.

(...to be continued and concluded in 4/4)

1To mean social services.

2 H.Baratta. RESEÑA BIOGRÀFICA DE LOS DIEZ PRIMEROS MISIONEROS SALESIANOS LLEGADOS A LA ARGENTINA. Coleccion Archivo Historico Salesiano Nro. 5. Buenos Aires. 1986, p.26. Tomatis y Molinari eran tirantes, y no se llevaban bien. molinari, salud buena; pero sufrò un poco el mareo. Poco afecto a la oraciòn y la meditaciòn. quiere ciertas cosas por capricho, y ;ay del que lo contradice! insultò a Padre Tomatis y a Padre Cassini, que le dieron una pequena ocasiòn. Dice que no puede tolerar los modos bruscos de Padre Tomatis. Algo vanidoso en el vestir y en el querer aparecer, y algo descuidado en las Reglas de la Sociedad. Sin embargo, tengo confianza de hacerlo cambiar, porque a una orden suave, pero firme, obedece. La communiòn, cuando puede. (carta del 3.1.1876)

Inde Exibit Gloria Mea? È Vero. (part 4/4)

(...continued from 3/4)

Does this memento have prophetic and spiritual value? Or was it another handout meant for the shelves?

After 125 years after the first group of missionaries received the missionary memento from the altar of the Basilica of Mary help of Christians in Turin, the Jubilee year missionary batch was listening to the Message of the Holy Father, John Paul II being read to them before the packed basilica in chilly November evening of 2000, A.D.

In that message¹ even the Pope inadvertently expressed that it is while doing mission that one realizes one's divine calling. The pope gloriously mentions in his message a large amount² of confreres have gone for the Salesian missions. It would be good also however to point out the need that 'would it not be better if missionaries took the mementos to heart earlier' and that means prior to the departure for the missions just like the 'old times'.³ The very time and age of today speaks of a shift of awareness which not even the pope is probably conscious of. He began this message by acknowledging that missionaries go in the name⁴ of their founder and rightly so when speaking of the work of the Congregation. But in fact it ought not to be so.

There is a need to really return not to the times of the founder but to the very spirit with which Don Bosco and his sons have responded to the promptings of the Holy Spirit. It is unfortunate yet important to emphasize that the missionaries ought to know 'crystal clear' that they are not sent in the name of this or that founder ONLY but that they are fundamentally and essentially sent by God and by His Church. Some may say, that would be implied naturally. When one is sent by the congregation, it means being sent by the Church and by God himself. But these expressions are meant for the journalists to write about. But for the missionary himself or herself this is not anymore clear with all the cameras flashing and interviews pending.

It is the pristine awareness of the divine mandate that seems to have wavered as time went by. Just as a matter of fact the Pope notes well the number of missionaries having received the missionary crucifix,⁵ and yet what is not mentioned is the large number of missionaries who have also left the missions for one reason or another. There is something amiss. There are the same ceremonials of bestowing the missionary crosses. But the spirit of the missionary mementos, no more.

The Mementos of Don Bosco were read to the group that belonged to the 125^th anniversary expedition ie. The Jubilee edition. While in the upper room in Valdocco, the very room of the Founder himself, a photo copy of the memento printed on four portions of an A4 size colored paper was handed out to the 80 plus Salesian missionaries on day they arrived from Rome. Similar to all other Salesians, the text of the memento was a text the missionaries already had hopefully seen and just skimming have read in the appendix their own versions⁶ of the Constitutions and Regulations of the Salesian Society.

The word 'Amen' at the end of the text itself is very interesting. When one gives an ordinary advice it would not be concluded with an exclamation of faith. Was it a typographical mistake? Surely not since all versions of the text through the years always conclude with that 'Amen.' So why did Don Bosco place it? Don Bosco placed it because it was not a mere to-do-list. It should not be treated as a list of optional suggestions. It should not be considered as a regulation or rule. But as a last will and prayer testament from a Father to a son. An advice after some time may not be valid or relevant when circumstances change. And yet, a prayer is perennial, because it is not based on circumstance or of time. As like all prayers, it is a dialogue between a Father and a son. It is the prayer of Don Bosco to the Heavenly Father that his sons be as such encapsulated in the mementos' text. It is a prayer that a missionary should pray with so that he may have the grace to be as such.

Conclusion

Responding to the initial question of missionary failure, begs the question to propose an answer. And the answer to superficiality is profundity. And one of the more neglected sources of profundity are these mystical mementos of Don Bosco to his first missionaries. These mementos were not meant to be read but to be the 'screen-test' for aspiring missionaries. The mementos would serve a wonderful tool for discernment for a missionary vocation. It easily can pass as a sound 'audition-test' for those who were meant to be missionaries ad gentes.

In the mementos there is nothing to do with suitability for singing, playing more than one musical instrument, technical trade skills, or recreation skills. There is no mention of administrative and management skills. There is nothing at all about jungle-survival techniques. It does not even mention foreign-language skills as part of the essentials. There is nothing mentioned about anthropological strategies to work for indigenous people. There is nothing mentioned about pastoral care for migrants. It mentions how to love God and to win more souls, beginning with one's own.

The constitutions were, are and will still be Don Bosco joining the missionary as he walks the modern boarding ramps of a departing vessel for the missions. The Constitutions are the presence of Don Bosco. But the mementos were Don Bosco's reminder of the vicinity of the presence of mystery.

As the first ten missionaries received the mementos from the very hand of their Father Don Bosco, the started filing out from the altar of the Basilica of Mary Help of Christians. Don Bosco and all the throng present were very moved as they bade their last farewells and the finality of life joyously given at the service of the Lord were just overwhelming. And these were not sentiments of petty heightened emotion. This was heroism at its humblest: total generosity to what lies unknown save the fact that God is there. Everybody knew and understood that these ten would be going out to the farthest corners of the world to speak of the goodnews of the Lord. And this was not a suggestion but a command to bring the light of the Gospels to all parts of the world.⁷ And because of this zeal, the missionary would risk all.

The reality of death is what makes the mementos enter into mystery. The finality of leaving everything, to include family, friends, mentors, own culture, own language and life itself brings the missionary into the threshold of mystery. Only with this context can a missionary understand the meaning and continual beauty of the mementos of Don Bosco to his missionaries.

Zeal and Risking everything for the Lord makes the memento a great spiritual testament⁸ and not mere practical options. It gives light and strength to missionaries and non missionaries just as Father Lemoyne seeing the ten receive the memento from the hand of Don Bosco and started filing out into the huge crowd that had to say their last goodbyes to these young men. He himself could not contain his deep sentiments and prophetically exclaimed 'Ah! Don Bosco, it begins to be fulfilled 'From here my Glory will go forth!' And Don Bosco deeply moved simply humbly says 'It is true.'⁹

Bibliography

H.Baratta. RESEÑA BIOGRÀFICA DE LOS DIEZ PRIMEROS MISIONEROS SALESIANOS LLEGADOS A LA ARGENTINA. Coleccion Archivo Historico Salesiano Nro. 5. Buenos Aires. 1986

G.Bosco. MEMORIE DELL'ORATORIO DI SAN FRANCESCO DI SALES: dal 1815-1855, Instituto Storico Salesiano-Roma. Fonti-Serie prima, IV. Intruduzione, note e testo critico a cura di Antonio Da Silva Ferreira. LAS, Roma.

E.Ceria, ANNALI DELLA SOCIETÀ SALESIANA: Dalle origini alla morte di S. Giovanni Bosco (1841-1888). Società Editrice Internazionale, Torino.

E.Ceria. MEMORIE BIOGRAFICHE DI DON GIOVANNI BOSCO. vol. XI, Ed. 1930

F.Desramaut. IL PENSIERO MISSIONARIO DI DON BOSCO: Dagli scritti e discorsi del 1870-1885.

Bollettino Salesiano (Gennaio 1898) 5.

A.Giraudo. SAN GIOVANNI BOSCO: Insegnamenti di vita Spirituale, LAS, Roma: 2013

A.Lenti. DON BOSCO: HISTORY AND SPIRIT: Expansion of the Salesian Work in the New World and Ecclesiological Confrontation at Home. Vol. 6. ed.A.Giraudo, LAS, Rome:2009

MESSAGGIO DEL SANTO PADRE AL RETTORE MAGGIORE DELLA SOCIETÀ SALESIANA DI SAN GIOVANNI BOSCO, Dal Vaticano, 9 Novembre (2000)

Preface, Constitutions and Regulations of the Society of St. Francis de Sales. Direzione Generale Opere Don Bosco. SGS Roma: 1984.

REGOLAMENTI DELLA SOCIETÀ SALESIANA. Direzione Generale Opere Don Bosco, Torino: 1966.

REGOLAMENTI DELLA SOCIETÀ SALESIANA. Società Editrice Internationale, Torino: 1924.

G.Soldà. DON BOSCO NELLA FOTOGRAFIA DELL'800: 1861-1888. Società Editrice Internazionale, Torino: 1987

E.Valentini,ed; A.Rodino DIZIONARIO BIOGRAFIOCO DEI SALESIANI.. Scuola Grafica Salesiana, Torino:1969.

E.Valentini,ed.PROFILI DI MISSIONARI: Salesiani e Figlie di Maria Ausiliatrice.. LAS, Roma: 1975.

E.Viganó, ACG 336 (1991).

Research studies I did for the course Corso Monografico di Spiritualità Salesiana

Università Pontifica Salesiana - Roma: 2013-2014

1 MESSAGGIO DEL SANTO PADRE AL RETTORE MAGGIORE DELLA SOCIETÀ SALESIANA DI SAN GIOVANNI BOSCO, Dal Vaticano, 9 Novembre (2000) §2. “Nei centri aperti a favore delle nuove generazioni, nelle opere professionali e di avviamento al lavoro, nelle scuole, nelle parrocchie, tra i ceti popolari e con i ragazzi della strada, essi sono chiamati a formare ed a preparare alla vita sociale e religiosa quanti la Provvidenza affida loro, perché diventino a loro volta annunciatori e testimoni del Vangelo.” cfr. Message of Pope John Paul II on the occasion of the Jubilee year of the church in 2000 and the 125^th anniversary of the departure of the first missionaries of the Salesians in 1875. (emphasis mine)

2 MESSAGGIO DEL SANTO PADRE AL RETTORE MAGGIORE DELLA SOCIETÀ SALESIANA DI SAN GIOVANNI BOSCO, Dal Vaticano, 9 Novembre (2000) §1 “Oltre diecimila religiosi”

3 The first group of missionaries were prepared by Don Bosco himself, not only in material things but most of all spiritual.

4 MESSAGGIO DEL SANTO PADRE AL RETTORE MAGGIORE DELLA SOCIETÀ SALESIANA DI SAN GIOVANNI BOSCO, Dal Vaticano, 9 Novembre (2000) §2. “Essi provengono da tutti i continenti, a riprova della diffusione dell'opera salesiana in ogni parte del mondo, e sono inviati, nel nome di Don Bosco e di Madre Mazzarello, ad agire in tutte le regioni della terra per compiere un'intensa attività di evangelizzazione e di educazione dei giovani.”

5MESSAGGIO DEL SANTO PADRE AL RETTORE MAGGIORE DELLA SOCIETÀ SALESIANA DI SAN GIOVANNI BOSCO, Dal Vaticano, 9 Novembre (2000) §2. “Molti di loro hanno ricevuto, prima di partire, il Crocifisso nella Basilica di Maria Ausiliatrice in Torino” (empahasis mine)

6 Translations

7 MB XI. p.384

8 A.Giraudo. SAN GIOVANNI BOSCO: Insegnamenti di vita Spirituale, LAS, Roma: 2013, p 183. The memento 'Ai primi Missionari' was precisely included within Part III: CONSACRATI A DIO PER LA SUA GLORIA E PER LA SALVEZZA DEI GIOVANI, in chapter 4: Consigli Spirituali Nella Correspondenza Personale Con Salesiani e Figlie di Maria Ausiliatrice, of Don Aldo Giraudo's book SAN GIOVANI BOSCO: Insegnamenti di vita Spirituale.

9 MB XI, p. 389 'Inde exibit gloria mea' an inscription the Madonna wanted ascribed on the façade of the Basilica of Mary Help of Christians.

All Love is not Friendship

Friendship? a study from the Introduction to the Devout Life, by St. Francis de Sales

by Carlo Maratta

You are my Friends¹ the Lord says to his disciples. St. Francis de Sales says Friendship is the most dangerous of all affections ² in his Introduction to the Devout Life. The apparent discrepancy is intentional.

The theme I chose from St. Francis de Sales' work in his Philotea, the nickname to his great spiritual work the INTRODUCTION TO THE DEVOUT LIFE, would be on Friendship. The reason I chose this theme among the hundreds of other themes in the book is for its relevance to humanity in every age... for its intriguing demand by the young and said to be sparingly found in Religious life. By humanity, I would refer it to the youth scene in these post-modern age. While for Religious life, I would be referring to the complaint of quite a good number of religious that 'we were not given proper formation into affective maturity.'

The quotation from John's Gospel in the first lines of this paper was incomplete. It should have read “You are my friends, if you do what I command you.” With regards the quotation from Philotea, it should also be read in its entire context of six chapters³ in Part III of is book. St. Francis de Sales scripturally defines Christian friendship only at the end of the sixth chapter that dealt with the dynamics of Friendship. He quotes the wise man, who fears the Lord shall direct his friendship aright, ⁴ and then the friendship of the world is enmity with God.⁵

The introductory discrepancy was not a contradiction nor an incoherence with the friendship according to Jesus and the friendship according to St. Francis of Sales. The incoherence and at times contradictoriness will be found in how people in all walks of life would like to define it. They would readily be found defining it in ways that would not only be profitable but also would be convenient for themselves. It is this 'definition by convenience' that I wish to address which is what St. Francis advices Philotea.

The difficulties or challenges today predominantly revolve with the same problem since the beginning of human time. We hear of so much complaints due to pain and suffering and inconsistency when confronted with aching hearts. We hear of weakness and failures and even scandals when the human heart fails to live up to its vows of friendship and its commitment to love. In the attempt to seek solutions, the process begins not only identifying the problem but also the people affected by it. This identification is shown through studies made by sociologists searching for understanding on how and why the human heart inadequately responds in history. We often hear vogue and vague terms when we hear nominatives that classify people at different times and generations: the industrials, the rebels, the hippies, the post-war boomers, the generation-x moderns, and now the gen-y post-moderns. In all these, the subject with the human heart remains the same. In a few years, the gen-z post-post-moderns would be in the limelight. Funny to wonder what name they would call this next group when they have ran out of alphabets. And yet the human heart remains the same. It seeks friendship and it seeks love and its seeks rest.

St. Francis gives Philotea seven clues to define Friendship and distinguish it from Love. This may come as a shock when he says in his first principle when he writes: All love is not Friendship.⁶ In simple English that means that only some, only those which are true and real Friendship could be identified with Love.

For those of us that assume that these two words, Love and Friendship, were usually synonymous ie. Love and Friendship used interchangeably as shown in many languages that prove their common origin, like amigo ~ amor in Spanish, amico ~ amore in Italian, amicitia ~ amare, in Latin. In fact the root for the English 'friend' is the German's freund which when rendered in its Old English present participle freogan means 'to love, to favor.”

So how does St. Francis want to explain these two. He says that Love does not seek anything in return. While Friendship implies mutual love. Love is an action of the will to benefit the recipient gratuitously I would have it interpreted. And Friendship is a relationship that is founded on reciprocal exchanges that bring benefit or favor to the parties concerned.

The second principle is that Friendship when rightly understood is meant to involve one's life for the other with nothing expected from the other in return, but simply a total participation of oneself for the benefit of the other. And this term of Holy Friendship he fittingly referred to as marriage.⁷

The third principle is of that friendship when wrongly understood would be short lived and would melt away, as he says, like snow in the sun.⁸ He clearly enunciates the kind of utilitarian aspect of seeking the company of the other for reasons that benefits oneself or even for mutual motives of profit, satisfaction or pleasure. This is not only wrong, but even evil he says rightly. His examples are so down to earth one needs to read the entire chapters to see the 'grounded-ness' of this Saint.

The fourth principle that could be inferred is that while friendship entails a mutual exchange of 'benefits', when these common interests go beyond intellectual compatibility, altruism or even objectives for justice and philanthropy, the saint says nothing beats that friendship when its mutual interest is purely about charity, devotion and Christian Perfection. To these last kind of common holy interests are the kind of Friendship that should be kept and fostered. St. Francis calls Friendship even real when what one seeks and what one shares is the highest of all good ie. Goodness itself, who is God. This I should say could be called perfect friendship as we could remember in the lives of the saints.

The fifth principle is the need to distinguish carefully genuine from false friendships. The saint illustrates his proofs by way of categorically pointing out that all sweet talk does not bring any good. In fact he demonstrates his keen psychological prowess to illustrate his familiarity with human subtleties that evidently leads not only to nowhere but even to sin. He even clearly states that when petty complaints arise and the sweeter the gestures, words and actions become, the more it should be doubted and even left behind. He teaches instead to take note that true friendship, because it is sincerely devoid of self interest, is one that is modest, simple and straightforward.⁹ And he concludes this point by saying , a true friend will not sigh for anything save that God is not loved enough.

In the sixth principle He gives finer details for fostering the true meaning of Friendship. He says that it not only means to offer what is pleasantly good for the other but to mould and enable the other to be better by correcting the faults even if it may hurt and displease the recipient. For a true friend according to him, consistently wishes only the integral growth and development of the other.

The seventh and the last principle of friendship inferred is that true friendship could not and will not thrive amid sin. The saint goes on to explain that Those who draw together in friendship for mere temporal profit, have no right to call their comm-union, friendship.¹⁰

These pages with these guidelines were written before the saints death probably by 1622. That's about 392 years ago when the saint penned these thoughts to the young reader he meant it for initially. And this means also that the relevance of these guidelines are so timeless that they easily could stand for a response for the Philoteas of today. The problem of friendship was obviously present then as it apparently exists still today or else I would not have bothered picking a theme that was not intriguing, in demand and sparingly found even today.

Intriguing, because friendship is so natural since childhood in human experience and yet so natural to mistake it for something it is not. Friendship is in demand in so many hearts and by so much degree from those who are good at complaining about a bleeding hearts when no one even cares to lifts a finger to tie some stitches on it before bleeding to death. Friendship is so diversified today that its true form could sparingly be found today with the naked eye. It is a word that is so much used. Its meaning is so much misused and its practice defiantly abused.

Will a post-modern youth asks what is friendship? No they won't. They have already their preconceived criteria as answers. They seek or better, they long for someone who can personify, whom st. Francis calls those who authentically present to those abandoned, cared for the poorer ones, respected the neglected ones (to whom they identify with) without expecting anything in return. To them, these youth will begin to trust again and then will begin the process to mutually build a relationship of respect and generosity for another, a relationship which is called real friendship that St. Francis spoke about. This is the only friendship they trust. The youth today are too smart that they know they are being 'utilized' willingly or unwillingly.

Instead with disgruntled persons in religious and priestly life have the perennial knack at lobbing complaints at their superiors and formators. They annually, like clock work, harp on the same tune during annual evaluations and programming. They say that they were not formed properly into 'affectivity.' They say that the Ratio lacks a substantial element of formation to affectivity. If St. Francis were alive today, he would easily have these lot on canonical leave. He would ask them for two things first that formation was never a one way street. And second is that the problem of affectivity has more roots prior to the entry into the formation houses. At times it could be bluntly said that some candidates are 'dented goods' which an initial formation program presupposes had been pre-processed before admission. Follows are the two responses using in the light of what St. Francis advised.

St. Francis would demand that they learn to understand the meaning of Love as he explained. As well as the ambiguity of Friendships which is misconstrued as a relationship whereby affectivity is of issue. For the saint, affectivity is not the issue. In St. Francis, when people who seek and ask something, more so when asking for healing of affectivity, is probably a red-flag. For the saint these kind of needs are not a problem of a lack of formation to friendship in the formation house, but a problem more primitive. In fact they are so primitive, that inter-disciplinary sciences that can identify and verbalize such needs are required. For when a person has gone through the formative system and then realizes his immaturity in his or her affective response, it is not the fault of the formative process. For the simple reason, that the formative stage in religious life is not a hospital nor a therapeutic institute. Surely, there are flaws for all human system, and the formative system or Ratio is not without room for improvement. But to complain and demand that the system must have a program for affective maturation, will not pass the test of St. Francis. For him the kind of relationship expected of a person at that level of responsiveness to a vocation ie. Religious life, or even of priestly life, demands also a level of professionalism to mean accountability. But are we religious or are they not? Are we people who accepted willingly and consciously to embrace the consecrated life. And this only means that it was first and foremost a relationship entered into with God and not with the institution or with another person which comes only secondarily as an expression of this primary relationship with God.

For St. Francis, this friendship with God demands responsibility to seek only the good of the other... on the part of man, to seek only the glory of God. It may sound too 'cloud-like in the seventh heavens' but in fact, this is exactly what the vows and commitment was all about, to love without reserve. The saint warned that if one started to seek formation to affectivity while meaning 'show me respect, give me understanding, opportunity for professional growth, space to express individualism, quasi-freedom, all these are smacks of vanity, then it loses the realness of friendship and definitely failed to be professionals ie. People who promised to leave everything behind, following Christ to love God totally. Calling a spade a spade is what keeps things realistic too. What is lacking is not learning the dynamics of human friendship. What is lacking is growth in Faith ie. that relationship with God. If one wants to learn to be mature in his human friendships he ought to be mature first in his friendship with God and not the other way around. There should be room to realize that one's faith ought to have grown so as to give us the capacity to respond to the challenges of the present stage of life we may be in. Like a crab that needs to molt in order to grow. And while molting, a crab becomes so soft and vulnerable to predators.

The second response would be to realize that formation is like having a spoon of honey offered on one's mouth. It all depends if one would swallow it or spit it out. This choice remains in the hands of the individual if he, responsible as he is would realize that he cannot live on honey alone, and would instead find some bread to serve as supplement. But one cannot keep on whining on what one is simply served with he needs also to learn how to cook other food when he knows what is available in the table is not enough.

St. Francis develops his theme on Friendship which such amazing clarity of the human weakness and its diverse façade. His detailed knowledge of the intimate stages of human psyche is very astonishing. Moreover his proneness to use imagery and metaphor shows he is not only well read and learned into things scientific and as well as familiar with domestic life. He captivates Philotea and his readers with ease and precision. These words he compiled together brought me to laugh time and again at his pastoral wit but also laugh to acknowledge how cunningly frank and insistent this good pastor is in helping souls... in guiding them to really a devout life – a solid friendship with God.

For those who cannot bear the thought that mature or as the saint calls 'real' friendship is based on the willingness to share God with the other, it means really ouch! But for others who sync with these thoughts of the saint, its means really wow! No one said following Christ was a walk in the park.

Before verse 14 of the Johannine gospel, should read “Love one another as I have loved you” in verse 12. And verse 17 should read 'this is my commandment, that you love one another.'

The Lord does not invite but instead commands all those who wish to be his friends today and those even prior to 392 years ago, to Christian Friendship. Based on St. Francis definition, we all must love one another as Christ loved us. And that meant giving oneself for the other's good without anything in return, that is Friendship.

We ask why is Friendship so illusive for whining religious? Why are they not allowed to have meaningful friendships that they may mature better. Reply, because the identity of consecrated life (religious life) is grossly misunderstood today. Men of God, men for God, and men in God are usually content and happy and are capable of great friendships because they are generous and seek first the good of the Other. As their hearts are filled by the overwhelming presence of the Other, they willingly and healthily build real friendships with others.

I was so bemused at the moment St. Francis dealt on 'intimate friendships' a phrase which in the words today would at face value mean 'particular friendships.' The saint likened 'intimate friendships' to a journey together either in a field or going up a steep hill. At first glance I myself did not know what does it have to do with friendships. And when he expounded his thoughts as consistent as it were, then I was simply floored at the profundity of his wisdom of his simplicity of is grace. He said that when walking in a plain field, there is no difficulty of walking in the same direction while as going up a steep hill would require the assistance and help of another. The saint zeroes in with the analogy that in a field there is no urgent need to hold hands nor even to stay close to each other since the field all are walking on is flat and secure. This is the same with real friendship. Once the very foundation of the relationship is the secure centrality of God as the common good that is shared, there is no room to be afraid and so require each one to hold the hand or to be in arms length of the other. There is no fear of losing sight of the other. There is no fear of losing the destination since both if not all, are in the holy 'solid' grounds of God's presence.

When however the terrain is steep and the danger of falling off would be a perennial risk and hazard, it would necessitate that each would not simply be content on keeping each other closer but even more expedient if one held the hand of the other to assist each other in reaching the same destination safely. The saint would recommends the closeness of a friend when there is a risk of being distracted or weak in the steep ascent towards the plateau of God. A good friend should be the one that is first to grab your hand lest you fall or be continually holding your hand due to discouragements or weakness of heart to proceed. In these two metaphors the saint deals with 'intimate friendships' as a proximity that could mean not only frequency of contact but also spatial.

It was interesting for me to realize that the saint lacked may have perhaps one aspect uncovered when having to deal with 'particular friendship' that the modern age has been debating about. I said debating since, the younger generation of religious would use this pointing stick as an argument against their formators and superiors who emphatically considered this intimate friendship as taboo. And yet the younger generation would harp on that it is due to this 'forbidden' intimacies of friendship that they blame their inadequacy for affective maturity today. Just by using the 'blame game' indicates an argument like water on a duck's back.

The aspect that the saint may have not explicitly expounded was the factor of being 'enclosed' ie. a friendship that is so exclusive unto the parties that it does not allow others to enter. Yet basing myself on the line of principles of St. Francis, exlusive friendships are not healthy at all and are not to be confused with 'intimate friendships.' The saint already points out a fine line of caution to its practice. Particular friendship, being exclusive and lacking in openness to others, are definitely vain and even unhealthy. In itself, particular friendship is self destructive and incapable of bringing about the intended affective maturity. For the saint, when the relationship expresses jealousy and possessiveness, there is definitely something that is not good but only an enclosure of mutual selfishness. A healthy intimacy would naturally be free of the compunction or fear of losing out in the attention one receives from the other. When the intimacy of the friendship is centered in God, it cannot be diffusive and even zealously expectant that others may enter into this beautiful circle of goodness they had just discovered. Therefore, particular friendships should remain taboo for those who seek a more devout life.

To round up, the fuel to any relationship is continuity says the saint. If faith is the name of this friendship with God. The actual 'good' that is shared is called love that is in Sales-ian terms that which does not seek anything in return and only seeks the good of the other. This powerful energy or more emphatically called fire¹¹ as Teilhard de Chardin wants to call it is exactly what St. Francis de Sales refers to as the ruler of every motion of the heart. Thus it is no wonder that the human heart will remain the same... it will remain restless until it finds its ruler, and only then will it find perfect rest¹² because it has found its true friend.

1 John 15,14

2 F.de Sales. INTRODUCTION TO THE DEVOUT LIFE. Internet edition. Christian Classics Etheral Library: Grand Rapids, MI. p.78 www.cce.org/ccel/desales/devout_life.html (accessed October 2013.)

3 F.de Sales, Part III: Chapter 17-22

4 Ecclesiasticus 6,17

5 James 4,4

6 F.de Sales p.78

7 F.deSales p.79

8 F.deSales p.79 on Sensual Frienships

9 F.deSales p.82

10 F.de Sales p.84

11 P.T.de Chardin. ESSAY ON CHASTITY

12 St. Augustine. CONFESSIONS. (author's emphasis)